Dreadful Happiness

Not sure where to start,

Just sitting here,

In the dark,

Fighting all these words,

All of this encouragement for pain,

As I think about the  dark things,

These wicked little lies,

All this freaking time,

I can just now realize that,

I’m alone,

And my soul is gone,

And abandoned,

With my heart,

It’s cold,

Remote and falling apart.

To hell I go!

Tonight’s my last night.

Amendments aren’t possible.

I’m done with this dreaded life.

Life that’s been picked clean,

Of all it’s happiness,

Filled with nothing but misery,

Dried up and isolated,

From the mainstream of what’s,

Believed to be of,

All that’s running through my mind.

And bits of my soul,

They leak through my eyes.

Wet face,

No smile,

Drowning in tears.

I have no more fears,

They’ve pass by like years.

Calming, calming,

My heart slows it beat.

My pain has witnessed defeat.

Still no smile,

Once joyful eyes,

Now filled with doubt.

Empty soul,

Left for dead.

Washed away by the tears of my sorrow.

I am strong.

I will fight.

I’m in pain.

But I’m still not dead,

Even though everything in my life,

Seems to be something to dread.